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At the time I don’t know what I was thinking. I was being a selfish prick trying to like basically blackmail her into being with me. Why am I such a dumb ass.. then I come to my senses and say please just don’t break up with me and give it a few days to think about it. Let’s not make any decisions based off anger.. and the next day I tried to be as nice and loving as I could and a few times said to her . That u dint like the way the conversation was going and that I think its best if we just hang up and talk when we are in a better mood. And then a cluster of words with anger comes out of her and making me feel as if I have not treated her good the entire relationship. And said what have you done as for of an act of love for me lately. And I love her more than anyone I have ever loved in my entire life. She is my everything …and things started getting to me so I said mean things and said I’m fed up and you just lost me cuz I just slipped right through her fingers like I was a king and felt like it was about me. I actually even said can this just be about me cuz my feelings were hurt and I was feeling sorry for my self or something.. I text her and she doesn’t seem to want to work things out. She did tell me that she loves me and that o will always hold that special place in her heart.. it made me feel a lil better. But I feel like I’m dieing without her in my life. I want to erase my Facebook but I keep in touch with my family more often with it. Erased a lot of girls off of it. And I want to get a better job and be able to take her out and buy her things and do more for her.. I’m so sure that she is the one for me and I know it in my heart that I am sorry for handling everything the wrong way . And she says she is sick of hearing sorry.. then I call her and text her while she was at work and she says my phone is dead and that she was in trouble for looking at her phone at work. O said sorry baby.. if I were to know that she was gonna get into an argument with her co worker and boss and quit because of it I would of just waited till she got off work to try and show her that I’m sorry and that I care I feel so bad cuz its basically my fault that she quit her job.. I look back and I know I was wrong so I’ve admitted it and I am sorry so I’ve said it. I have no problem saying my feelings but I always seem to word things wrong and go about things the wrong way I don’t know what to do. I naturally have it in me to go to her in person and the last time we got into a fight I gave her flowers and a card and she just threw them away and never read the card. I don’t even have the gas to drive to her house and no money to buy her anything. How can I show her that I am genuine and that I truly love her and make her feel better.. I don’t want her to think its all about me cuz she has stated that not sure if its cuz I said that the other night. Or if she really thinks its about me and what I want. I mean of course I want her . But I really want her to be happy. I want the best of everything for her. And I am willing to do anything to get her back. I am not very good with putting the story back together and obviously I suck with wording things to keep the story short.

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